*Does A Happy Dance*

So apparently I am just a slow responder for the clomid. My follicle check went much better today. That little immature 10mm follicle grew to a nice 17mm one! I have one more u/s on Sunday (along with a PCT) and we'll also trigger!

I am excited and nervous. I hope it works, I really do. I know we have some sperm issues so that concerns me but, I have a lot of hope and faith right now. I am feeling positive. I will remain that way until AF shows up but I am not thinking she will.

This will probably be the hardest 2WW of my life. Because I know we are going to time everything really really well and that's a good thing. Because all the other times I had no idea what was going on. Now I have proof and control of what's going on. It's a little scary. But you know what would be totally awesome? Getting pregnant and having the house all done.

Life is getting pretty exciting!

So tell me again why I was hopeful?

The second follicle check did not go well. The one and only follicle that had good size to it stopped growing. RE said we'll do another U/S on Friday but that after that we won't. I'll get to go another two weeks unmonitored and if I don't start my period by then it's on to yet another round of provera. I think I still have my other prescription some place.

Words cannot describe the immense disappointment I feel. Ray was in the room with me this time. I don't think he knew what was going on because he didn't say anything to me after. He was ticked because I lost his keys-nice reaction. Here I am miserable and all he can do is be pissy about his keys, which are in the house we just didn't have time to look for them.

The RE said that it's possible the 50mg dose of clomid is too low and that I need a higher dose. That's fine the clomid 'script is a lot less expensive than the ovidrel. So if this cycle doesn't work out for triggering at least I won't have to get another ovidrel shot.

I am reading a lot about PCOS and clomid though and what a lot of REs do is supplement the clomid with an injectable every other day in order to stimulate the ovaries. I'd hate to tell an RE how to do her job but I am wondering if she is ignoring my PCOS and just treating me as if I have unexplained infertility. I don't know. I am just so miserable today...

I guess I'll keep my hope up by hoping that they will grow more in the next three days! *sigh*

Check, Check 1 2 3

So I had the follie check on Saturday. It was okay. I expected to see my RE but I got another Dr from the practice- a guy. Never had a guy lookin' down there before. No biggy, just unexpected.

RE said that I have several potential follies (YIPPY)on the right side, and a couple on the left, the biggest being 10mm-small but growing. It needs to be at least 18-20mm before they'll let me get my shot. I am supposed to go again tomorrow morning to see if it's grown. I am hoping it will be a little overachiver and have grown to at least 16mm- I suspect I'll be lucky if it reach 14mm or that it's grown at all.

I have no idea of 10mm is good after three days being off clomid or if that's on the small side. I would think it's okay and that as long as it keeps growing I should trigger on Thursday or Friday which means I'll probably ovulate on CD19 which is much better than I was doing on my own. I do wish I had a few 12mm ones in there on Saturday but I'll take the 10mm and keep praying it grows up good and strong! Hey it could be our potential kid I am cultivating in there! :)

All in all my mood has been good, hopeful even. With everything else going on I'm amazed about how calm I am about this whole thing right now.

Yesterday we went to lunch with my mom, brother and his girlfriend. It was nice. We went back to my mom's apartment for a little bit and my brother's girlfriend was asking me how I knew that there were issues. I told her the whole story, then she asked how long we'd been trying and I told her about a year. I think she was kind of shocked to here that. I think my brother was too honestly. But most people don't go off and tell other people they are TTC (like what is it any of their business anyways) so the only time people know they are is when there are problems and it interrupts plans that you have. I suppose I could have been more secretive about the whole thing but the way I figure it is that if people keep thinking good thoughts about us and about us getting pg then maybe all that good thinking and praying and hoping will work more than if it were just me and Ray hoping, and thinking and praying. I don't know.

Anyway, good thoughts for a nice big follie tomorrow!