Once a week

So I promised myself that I would keep up with this blog once a week. So here is your weekly installment of me. I hope you don’t mind.

I wish I could say things were going on right now. They aren’t. I am a week away from finishing these ridiculous birth control pills. I have a few things I need to do to prepare myself for ttc again.

I need to go to the dentist. I have several cavities that I would like to have fixed/filled before I get pregnant. At the very least I need to have the x-rays done. I would prefer to be sedated if possible during the process (get them all done at once maybe?) and I don’t think I can be pregnant for that. So I need to make that appointment (which, yeah, not happy about it).

I also need to make a half-hearted attempt at finding some of our old baby-gear. We need the infant insert for our car seat. Ray told me he has no idea where it is and I am not sure we can get a replacement. If another baby is as tiny as Clara was at birth we will definitely have use of it.

On a totally separate note 4 of the moms who had babies in Clara’s Infant I class (basically Clara’s age, maybe a little older) either have new babies now or are pregnant now. Also two of Ray’s cousins are pregnant too. I told Ray it was a good thing we decided to have another one or I’d be going a little batty right now. I have to admit though it’s hard to wait, especially since we don’t know what my body is going to do.

In case I didn’t mention what the plan is (did I mention it, I probably did); we are going to go try on our own for the next three/four months. Then in September I will meet with the Ob/Gyn again and get her thoughts. My guess is if I am not pregnant she’ll recommend I go back to the RE. I’ll have her send my records over there and I’ll call for an appointment. Then it’s probably back to testing for both of us. Ray already told me he isn’t looking forward to doing the semen analysis again. I told him we would do it at Shady Grove again like we did the second one the last time. I doubt his count/motility/morphology got any better from three years ago though. It won’t matter since most of the infertility stuff really falls on me. We just need “one good one” for him.

As for our already existing miracle well she seems to be doing quite well. She’s still waking up in the middle of the night for no reason. I am not sure if she’s having nightmares that wake her or what. Usually Ray goes down and calms her down and usually that works. It’s still a battle at least once a week to get her dressed in the morning. She threw a massive fit yesterday for example but the rest of this week she’s been fine. I got to spend a little extra time with her this morning in her daycare room because Ray accidentally forgot her daycare bag (lunch, snack etc) at home. So we spent an extra 40 minutes hanging out waiting for Ray to come back to the school with it.

She’s a funny and cute little thing though. She wanted to spend her morning showing off in the classroom for me followed by sitting next to me and hugging me. She was NOT HAPPY when I left but I tried to tell her that I was there until Daddy brought her bag back but that didn’t compute. Shana (her teacher) said that she was sure she would be fine once she was sitting down to eat her yogurt. It does make me wish I could spend more time doing fun stuff with her.

Anyway, this weekend is Easter and I still have not gotten Clara’s Easter basket together (bad mommy). So tonight Ray and I are off to Target to pick stuff up for her (and coffee too since we seem to be out all of a sudden, I don’t drink caffeine much now since I knew I’d have to give it up when I got pregnant so I didn’t know we were getting low).

That’s all from around here. Hope everyone has a blessed Easter.

T minus 13 Days

I have 13 more little pink pills left in my pill pack to take. I have to be honest I am a little nervous about stopping. Not because I am afraid of getting pregnant (which, if it happens just by coming off pill, would be a minor miracle) but because these pills have actually given me my life back in a lot of ways.

When Ray and I first got together I wasn’t taking anything at all. We used barrier methods because (and I can’t believe I am going to admit this in public) I didn’t want to go to the gyn. I had this major fear of being- well looked at. Plus I really dislike(d) doctors (oh the irony-clearly over that now). Anyway, my sister-in-law practically forced me into the doctor’s office about three months before my wedding. The gyn she was seeing (who retired before we wanted to have a baby) was extremely nice and I felt comfortable with her so the exam was fine. At the time my cycles were pretty regular for me (about 40 days or so) and I hadn’t given HBC much thought but she suggested that if we were serious about waiting that I should consider a pill. At the time I was not organized enough to remember one daily and so I asked about the patch. She told me because of my weight (I was around 180 at the time) that I would be better off with N.uvaring. I was on that for two years before we decided to have a baby.

But in those two years I had horrendous cycles and I was miserably depressed. I had also gained a lot of weight (about 40lbs) though I don’t that that was the pills I think that was just me.

You all know the story after I got off n.uvaring (no cycles, dx PCOS, a year of problems, and finally a visit to a specialist) but after I finished breastfeeding Clara the gyn had recommended I get a M.irena IUD. I knew my insurance wasn’t going to pay for either the device or insertion of the device, not to mention I wasn’t keen on the idea anyway. Ray and I weren’t 100% sure what we wanted to do regarding having more children and I didn’t want to make a special appointment to get the thing taken out. I wanted to just be able to stop taking pills or whatever. The doctor recommended Y.AZ instead.

I have to say I experienced little to no side effects with this pill. To the contrary it cleared up my face, I never lost my sex drive, I lost weight (wow), and my cycles were so much more manageable (hello 3 day period, I love you). Now, after being on this pill for the last 18 months or so I feel like I don’t know what will happen when I stop taking it. Will my cycles be screwy? Will the acne (ugh) come back? Will I be a raging beotch? I am scared and nervous about it. I mean I know it’s necessary so there is nothing I can do about it. But still my life is manageable with the pills and so naturally going off them is a little bit like walking a high wire.

I guess we’ll know in about a month or so how this will all play out. I am just hoping that with additional weight loss and the pills having done what they’ve done for the last 18 months that maybe, just maybe, it won’t be as bad as I think it might be

Illness

Clara is sick. Her fever is 102 today. That means in addition to a regular doctor's appointment she has to be cath'd and checked for a UTI. How fun, right? Because it's not bad enough that she's sick but then to be stuck in the bladder. Gah.

This time she's going to Hopkins. I don't care how much more it costs us to have it done there. I don't care that it's completely inconvenient to my house or my life. I will not have her screaming on the table again while an incompetent nurse trys to locate where to put the cath.

Ray is taking her to her doc's appointment at 3pm. She was just there on Friday and was diagnosed with a simple "virus" and "not to worry"- but she has since gotten worse. Last night was probably the worst night we've had with her since she's been three months old. I hope not to repeat that tonight.

And of course with all this illness going around one of us has to stay home with her and it's been Ray because I have absolutely no time to take. Life is sucky. We'll just have to hope it isn't a breakthrough UTI (that's really bad news) and that it's something that can be easily remedied (i.e. not H1N1).

I wish this post was happier.

I have to say though overall Clara has been really great. She still won't crawl-which has me somewhat concerned about her gross motor skills. Her fine motor skills are coming along great though. She's also been very iffy with food lately. Not sure why. I don't know if it has something to do with her being sick or if it's teething again (why is everything teething?) But she's a happy happy girl. LOVES being on her daddy's shoulders and playing with Aunt Jenni. I am thinking about buying her some toys she can really play with (we have a few dollies and thing but no real toys) I think she'll like that.

Christmas is coming- it's going to be interesting with her. Plus we've got some house issues to deal with so Christmas may be a bit on the lighter side. I told Ray that we really just need to wrap a few boxes and give them to Clara since she'll only want the paper and the box anyway. LOL

Well that's all for Clara updates. Sorry I have been so MIA lately. Life has been nutty. Check out my other blog for more about that.

Oh Wow

It's been a while eh?

So what's new, you ask, in the life of little Clara Rose?

She is learning to crawl. I am not sure we're ready for her mobility yet but, either way it's coming. And of course she gets cuter by the day.

She's eating some solid foods now. We're doing a baby led weaning approach which we love. It's a mess, but she's so cute eating that I could never do purees with her. She just enjoys gnawing on stuff too much. She's getting the hang of it. A lot less food on the floor and in her hair now anyway.

Clara is growing every day. I am so much enjoying getting to know her cute little personality. We have three teeth now too. She giggles so much it makes me heart melt. She's daddy's little girl.

As for me? I had my yearly GYN appt the past week. The PCOS is still running rampant. Dr. J and I talked about the possibility of having another baby. I told her that wouldn't be a for a while- as in Ray and I won't be discussing having another one until Clara is at least 2. She recommended that I go on birth control to help ease the PCOS symtoms. I agreed since the symptoms are f'ing with my life right now. I need to have some blood work done since I am being put on YAZ. I sure hope it works better for me than the last round of BC I was on.

If we have another one (which, I am not sure we will honestly since I am looking to go back to school next fall to do a very time intensive program) I will probably have to go back to the RE to do it. And although the 50mg clomid without the trigger worked last time there is no assurance that it will the next time. So needless to say, I am nervous about that. Maybe before head right back to the RE's office we'll do some trying on our own. Maybe additional weight loss and the control of the symptoms with BC will help the next shot out.

That's it here. I leave you all with a picture of Clara and her daddy:

Nothing like a little poke in the bladder...

INCOMPETENCE. No seriously, the nurses at St. Joe’s here in Baltimore are incompetent.

Two Fridays ago (yes folks it has been that long since my last update), my mother and I went to St. Joe’s for Clara’s re-cath and VCUG If I failed to mention what was going on with that the doctor, to rule out VUR sent Clara in for this test and a re-cath to take her urine to check to make sure all the e.coli was gone. Apparently it is common in young girls to have some type of VUR which they typically grow out of. Anyway, so the last time we were at St. Joe’s the nurse and PA took about 2 mins to cath Clara, grab the urine and take out the cath. Yes, she screamed but once the cath was out she was fine. So I expected much the same thing to happen this time. But did it? No.

Rather than get two competent nurses we got one fresh-out-of-nursing-school nurse and some other moron with a nursing degree. But first things first. After we registered we were told to head to radiology where they would be doing the VCUG (natch). The nurse in radiology told us “we don’t cath here you have to take her to 2 north [pediatrics].” Mom and I hustle up there to find that there is no record that we are coming in (remember I said Clara was also supposed to have her urine re-tested so they SHOULD HAVE had a record of us but they didn’t). The fresh-out-of-nursing-school nurse runs down the hall to get charge nurse. I am not sure who she actually got but neither she nor the one she got were competent in any way. Have I mentioned their extreme level of incompetence yet???

So these two moronic jerks set out on a course to cath my 12lb, 25in happy, adorable, bundle of love. Clara had no idea what was about to happen but the two of us (me and my mom that is) were there to soothe her should anything go wrong. And go wrong it did. The more experienced nurse (I assume) handed over the reigns of cath’ing Clara to the just out of nursing school nurse. For 15 minutes she tried to cath my baby. All the while my beautiful and happy baby is screaming bloody murder. AND speaking of which she actually made my child BLEED. Finally, after bringing me to tears (I just couldn’t stand it any more) I told them to STOP, STOP IT RIGHT THIS VERY MOMENT- which was met with “but but but” and I said GET OFF HER RIGHT NOW and so they did. I calmed down Clara (actually my mother did as I ranted about how pissed I was). The two re-entered with a new cath. I almost had it in my mind to get an actual Dr or PA or NP but I didn’t because my mother assured me all would go well this time.

It didn’t. And again 15 minutes of crying and excuse making by the more experienced nurse occurred. “Oh, sometimes a baby’s anatomy is off to the side and it’s hard to get to” to which I responded “this isn’t the first time she’s been cath’d the last time it took 2 minutes what the HELL is your problem”- a very surprised look from the nurse. Finally, they got it in and now I was charged with walking my child, screaming, crying, fidgeting and fussing down to radiology on 1 South. That’s an elevator ride and a nice LONG ass walk. We get to radiology and they took her right in THANK GOODNESS.

What did the doctor find? She definitely has VUR- at least Grade III if not Grade IV, maybe higher. We were given antibiotic prophylaxis to take until she can see the Pediatric Urologist on August 10. The Ped Uro is at Hopkins and he’s a pretty popular guy (well he should be, he’s the head of Ped Uro there). So it’s a waiting game.

In the meanwhile Clara has learned to turn over, laugh and, get this, hold a bottle all in the last month-totally amazing both me and her daddy. She has the world’s best, most heart-melting smile. She has begun to teethe but I hear that it can take a while to see teeth; lucky us. More pictures to come- I promise.

And now for the conclusion (Part II)

I chatted with the daycare director face to face yesterday when we went to pick up Clara. The room was in much better condition (still not 100% but a lot better than when I walked in yesterday). Ms. Millie had left for the day so I still didn't get to speak with her (apparently her hours are 8:30-5:30. We have to drop Clara off before 7:30am and we can't pick her up until 6:15pm because Ray and I both work in the city and the daycare is way out in the 'burbs). After having a brief chat with two of Clara's "old teachers" (they are the original Infant I teachers that are now the new Infant II teachers) I spoke with Jessica (the director).

I explained to Jessica how I felt and what I thought about the switch and how I wished it had been better explained to us. I told her I was rather upset with the state of the room in the morning and I felt like there was enough time for Ms Millie to set up her room for all the new infants she was about to get. I let her know that I didn't think it was acceptable that if I am handing over medication to teachers that the actual teacher who would be administering the drug to my child wasn't there to speak to. Jessica explained that whatever teacher I spoke to could relay any messages. I said "look I know they are supposed to do that but when you have 6 children who are all either in stages of crawling, crusing, walking etc your primary concern when another teacher walks into the door is to get help. That usually means handing over whatever children aren't really 'your' children and stopping the children that are 'yours' from running amok in the room. Now with that in mind some things, some very important things, may not be communicated and while I know I can write a page long note about my Clara-once again with other children involved things don't get read, things get missed and we have problems." So Jessica said she understood my concern. Then I mentioned about the little babies typically being asleep earlier in the morning (or at least going down earlier than the 9-18 month crowd). I said "listen most 9-18 month olds have set nap times, right? Little little ones usually don't-they sleep when they are tired, eat when they are hungry typically-they are much harder to schedule. When you have to have them in a room where there is no place for them to sleep except the floor on a boppy or in the bouncy seat or in another child's crib [I actually don't think they allow this] it's really not conducive to their happiness and well-being. Not to mention when Ms. Millie comes in the door at 8:30am if my child happens to be napping already, now Ms. Millie has to pick her up, move her to the other room, put her in her crib. That can be disruptive and disturbing to my kid, you understand what I am saying?" And Jessica said "absolutely and I never thought about it like that. Perhaps what I need to do is have one of the Infant II teachers in the Infant I room until Ms. Millie comes in." Then Jessica said she thought it might be difficult to convince any of the now Infant II teachers to move to the Infant I room because all the Infant II teachers are very social and part of the reason Ms. Millie only has three babies is because she likes to "work alone." Well HELL PEOPLE- this ins't a freaking democracy is it? I wanted to say "Uh but Jessica YOU ARE THE BOSS AND YOU MAKE THE SCHEDULE" I mean tough crap that you HAVE to be in an hour early so you can actually TALK to parents (GOD freakin' forbid that happens) or that you have to leave your precious Infant II room so that someone can pay attention to my kid while she sleeps. LOOK I know it's no fun dealing with a 4 month old- I mean what does a 4 month old do but eat, sleep, poop, smile and be charming? But honestly NOT MY PROBLEM. You get PAID to sit and watch my kid sleep for heaven's sake. It's the easiest f'ing thing to do that, no?

Anyway, we'll see what Jessica ends up doing.

*sigh* Yet another reason I need to be home with my kid. WHY does it have to be so hard folks? Why?

P.S. The doctor called and she has e. coli in her urine. Ugh. We have to keep giving her the abx and call the doc in a week. My guess is for a follow-up cath. Fun!

And now for the conclusion (and a rant)

Meh

So yes she did have to be catherized on Friday (ugh). Ray took her to the doctor and once again he found not apparent problem with her but to be sure he made Ray take her over to St. Joe's peds wing to get a catheter so that they could do a urine dip and a culture. The results of the dip were inconclusive (there could be something but it's really not likely causing the issue etc etc) we were told the doc would have the results of the culture yesterday but in the meantime he was putting her on abx. The doctor didn't call yesterday so Ray will call this morning to see what the results are. She stopped needing the tylenol on Saturday afternoon. But that's normally how it goes with her. She runs the fever for less than a day and then she's perfectly fine. So, if it is a UTI then at least she won't be running any more fevers with no apparent cause. However, if it isn't a UTI then I am not sure what our next step will be. Ray will find out today.

And while this is all stressful enough for a new mommy I've got other issues on my mind.

Last Thursday the daycare sent out a letter saying that they were changing the Infant I and Infant II rooms because they had more infants that were crawling, cruising and walking then they had in Clara's age range (under 6 months). The way they were doing it is to move the younger infants to the smaller room and leave the older ones in the bigger room. The teachers, however, would remain in their original rooms (i.e. Clara would have a new teacher). OK, fine I thought not a problem she's only 4 months old she doesn't care who gives her the bottle and changes her- this should not be an issue.

HOWEVER, I thought that since today was the first day of the switch I would (A) get the meet the new teacher (nope didn't happen-apparently "Ms. Millie" doesn't get in until 8:30am) (B) the room where she would be staying would be set up (no again). In fact the mattresses weren't in the cribs and there were no names on the cribs. And just an aside Clara is ALWAYS and I do mean ALWAYS asleep when I bring her in the morning and I like to lay her down in her crib so she can get some extra zzz but with no teacher in there and no freakin' crib to sleep in what the heck am I supposed to do???? THAT on top of the fact that usually I fill out a sheet for Clara (saying what time she ate and woke up plus special notes for the teacher) but the new room didn't have a clipboard, pen or the freakin' sheet for me to write on. Not to mention the fridge being an absolute mess and labled with the wrong freakin' names. And finally, to add insult to injury, I am supposed to leave Clara's medication for Ms. Millie to give to her but I couldn't talk with her about it because she wasn't in. No thanks. I'll just give her all the medication at home thankyouverymuchandhaveaniceday.

They knew they were doing this Infant I/Infant II switch-a-roo long before the parents got notified (which for the record no one asked if we were okay with). With that in mind why didn't they have all the stuff done? This switch should have been freaking effortless and not the cause of frustration. I am so angry right now. I should not have walked into the new infant I room today to see other children's names where my child's name should have been. I should not have walked into that room and NOT seen my child's teacher. If anything TODAY (and even if it was just today) Ms. Millie should have gotten her ass in early to meet the parents of her students. For crap sake!

I guess I'll be making a phone call this morning...

Oh No

Another Friday, another fever. WHAT IS GOING ON?

I'm distraught. Waiting, impatiently I might add, for the doctor's office to call. WHY ARE THEY NEVER THERE WHEN YOU NEED THEM TO BE? The fever is 101.2 in her armpit, so for all intents and purposes probably closer to 102. Daycare just called to have me pick her up. Except I can't because Ray and I commute together (we're saving the world one car at a time :eyeroll:) on days like this WE NEED TWO F'ING CARS. So Ray went to get her (this is the 4th Friday he had to take time from work to take her to the doctor-his boss is looking at him a little funny now). Overall situation= THE MAJOR SUCKAGE.

Doctor suggested last time she may have a UTI which would require a catheter to get the pee out. :( My poor little thing. If that yields nothing then it's blood test and eventually a freakin' spinal tap. Please dear lord if you only grant me one prayer this year let it be this. NO SPINAL for Clara. I am fairly sure I'd be absolutely beside myself with sadness if they had to give her one. UGH.

Why only on Fridays? Why? She seems so happy and so wonderful during the week and then on Fridays all hell breaks loose.

Well it's official

The doctor has scheduled an induction for next Tuesday. So I have to go into the hospital on Monday night to get some medicine to soften my cervix. hopefully it will all go well.

Naturally there are still a bunch of things that need to be done before Baby P's arrival. But none of it is major end my mom will be here this weekend so it will all get done.

As soon anything happens I'll update again. In the meantime we've got lots to do.

Ahhh yes...

So I've determined that this whole bed rest thing might not be too terrible. I haven't quite been feeling that great and I certainly can't sleep. Poor Ray.

I do feel like I should get back to work though. I wish I could work from home but the way my job is structured I just cannot. It sorta sucks.

Today I have to speak with our Employee Service Center to get my leave taken care of. My doc indicated that she thought if my pressure was okay I could go back to work. But I will only do that if I can go back full time and not have any complications. If she only lets me back part time it wouldn't be worth it. Plus I'd have to make the 5 work day elimination period AGAIN and I am not sure I want to do that. The only advantage is that I could, possibly do the 5 day elimination period unpaid without too much consequence for our budget. Really, it's not a big deal if they keep me out for the rest of the month- just I would have had more time as a p/t employee after my 6 weeks of paid STD leave was up under the FMLA rules. Now I have to sorta re-arrange it.

Overall though, I am doing okay. I finished the baby's blanket (finally) and we got the baby's name up in the room, which means NO ONE is allowed in there now. It looks so freakin' cute. We still need to put the shelves up above the changing table but because our house was built in '41 we don't have drywall in there but plaster walls and it's been really really tough locating the studs with the stud finder. So we are trying a different approach (one I am not too happy about btw). But at least it will allow Ray to find the studs and hang the shelves this week.

Once the shelves are up, we have two more things for the wall and then the room is officially finished. Ray can then move the glider up to our bedroom and I can move our mini-rocking chair in there. After the baby decides to sleep through the night we'll move the glider back into the nursery.

I am so happy with the way it turned out. Once the baby is here I'll post pictures.

So, things are okay. I just wish I could sleep. I was up at 3:30AM today and I have an early morning NST today too. I just hope my pressure is looking okay. My guess is that everything will be fine. As usual.

I have a doctor's appointment Tuesday and then another NST on Thursday. Lots of fun!

It's all fun and games until they make you pee in a jug

Oh Ann, I never thought I would truly understand how you felt about the jug o' pee until I got the chance last night to experience it myself.

Bleh, and I'm on bed rest for at least a week. Which sucks hardcore btw.

So the story goes that I went in for my routine check up yesterday with my doctor. My pressure, after the nurse took it for the third time was 143/98- very bad. The doctor came in and checked it herself- it was 143/92-not too much better. I got to go to L&D triage to be monitored and checked for pre-e-fun? Not so much (i was really hungry). The tests all came back normal-I'm not swelling or anything but my pressure goes up when I sit up, stand up or lay flat. So I am supposed to lay on my right side or left side for at least the next week.

Of course I have a ton of crap to do-which includes finishing the nursery and my blanket.

Anyway, if the urine comes back with protein in it there is a pretty decent chance I'll be induced this week. Hopefully, everything will be normal and we won't have to worry about it. I am so not ready for this baby yet. But it's going to be what it's going to be, I suppose.

In the mean time I am going to do my best to take it easy. At the very least I'll finish packing my hospital bag (just in case) and do whatever left over baby laundry I have to do (only a few things). Ray can work it out with my FIL the rest of the nursery. With any luck the baby won't be here early and I can go naturally, like I want to.

So, that's it for now.

Ok, I'm ready

I am so ready to meet Baby Parrish. Seriously. I just cannot get comfortable in bed any more. I know I'll still be up every two hours when the baby is here (at least for the first few months) but eventually I will get to sleep again. I can't wait for that to happen. All the parts of my body hurt now and functioning at work is harder and harder each day. So unfair.

We had our first child birth class on Tuesday. It was great. Ray was wonderful- I adore him. He's been great around the house lately too. I am very lucky. He knows how much harder things have gotten for me in the past few weeks and he's really pitched in and tried to be there for me. I really appreciate that.

Last night we spent about 30 minutes trying to find some meditation music to bring to the delivery room with us. We practiced some of the breathing techniques- it was nice. I almost fell asleep on him though-LOL. It was good just to spend "us" time together.

I have a doctor's appointment today, so I get to leave work early- thankfully. It's with a different doc from the practice I go to. I hope she is nice. Not sure what we are going to talk about but- something for sure. I am hoping it's a pretty quick appointment because I would very much like to go home and nap after. :)

Tomorrow is my work shower. I am NOT looking forward to it. More about that at some later point- I am just too upset to really express it right now. Maybe over the weekend or next week I'll get into more details.

Anyway, that's it from here.

So far-so good

All the bloodwork was normal. The doc had to re-run the bile salts bloodwork but she didn't think it would show anything (the lab screwed up). My feet have been less itchy and I honestly think it's more stress/anxiety related than blood related.

Even better news is that I once again passed the GTT! 111, same as the one I took at the beginning of the pregnancy. Very very happy about that. The weight gain is still an issue and I've been trying really hard not to let it go out of control but my body likes to hold on to weight so this has been difficult. It will be good when I feel I am in control again-because right now I am not really. I think I am up around 30 plus lbs. It's horrible because I do not want to be where I was last summer-well above 200. The only good thing is that I am sure to lose a little of it when the baby gets here. Then it's back to weight watchers for me once I get everything at home on a schedule. Ray is 100% on board with me going back to WW once the baby is here. This is good because without his support it would be a lot harder.

Overall things are going okay. I am in major pain all the time it seems though. My back hurts, my knee hurts, my shoulder and neck hurt. Just so much fun all the time. But it's only 11 weeks until the baby is here, I know I can make it and it will be worth it. Of course I am nervous as heck too but- I'll get over it.

Well that's really it. My next appointment is right before Thanksgiving and then I am on a two week schedule (wow!) until Christmas and then once a week after that (yikes). Ray and I start our childbirth classes the first tuesday in December- that should be-enlightening for him.

I'll try to be more consistent with posting.

Only Because You Asked

Cholestasis of pregnancy is actually a liver problem that causes excess bile salts to be deposited into the maternal blood stream. This causes the baby to absorb these excess bile salts potentially affecting the baby's liver function and sometimes causing jaundice or other complications.

If caught early enough the itching caused by the excess bile salts in the maternal blood can be controlled with medication but overall the spillage of these salts can't really be controlled, only monitored. Only about 1 to 2 in 1000 women ever develop Cholestasis of pregnancy. If the bile salts are not too high I will probably just be put on medication to control the itching and re-tested at each appointment to see if the levels are rising. If the doc thinks everything is okay she may still let me try to go more naturally rather than forcing me to have an induction early.

What I am hoping is that the levels are low enough that I can control the itching with medication and avoid the whole induction senario. Today will be the deciding factor. If my GTT comes back high I will also have to do the 3 hour test (sucks hardcore) and if I fail that then I am most likely going to have schedule an induction :( - there would just be too many potential complications between the cholestasis and the gestational diabetes. With any luck my GTT will be fine and the bile salt levels will be low.

I'll know today what the dr is thinking.

Updating the Major Points

I am so so so so so sorry I haven't been here in a while Things are absolutely INSANE lately. I just don't have time to write everything down.

Ok so what's going on with me and Baby Parrish??

- Baby is doing awesome. My last appointment has me measuring right on target and the baby's heartrate is perfect (150s still). I am in the last trimester and trying not to freak out.

-Dr thinks I may have Cholestasis of pregnancy because I complained about having itchy feet. So instead of taking the one vial of blood for the GTT they had to take 8. That sucked but hopefully everything is okay and I won't have to worry to much. My Dr is great though she didn't get all bent out of shape about it even though it can cause some serious complications.

- My boss (sorta) is AWESOME. She was in town two weeks ago and I brought up going part time after my 6 weeks of leave are up. She was all for it! She said she thought that would not be a problem at all. I'll be working 3 days a week up to 30 hours for at least 6 weeks, possibly longer if we can manage it financially (I think we can). That would give me more time with the baby while he/she is under a year. My SIL Jen already agreed to do one day a week of babysitting for dinner (LOVE HER!!!) and I think I can totally convince my MIL to do something similar for the M&F. So baby will be out of day care for at least 6 weeks after I get back from Mat leave and then only in daycare 2 days a week after that if I go back full time. I am so happy about that arrangement.

- Things are going better in the Ray & Chris department too. It's been a difficult few weeks at the Parrish house. I've been an emotional wreak and totally stressed out but I finally got out what I needed to say yesterday and I think Ray is beginning to see how I am feeling. So that's good.

- Ray and my FIL went to go get the baby's bedroom furniture today to set it up. I got my first shower gift (still don't know what it is because of stupid UPS) -hopefully I'll get to see it today.

-I am insanely far behind on my projects for the baby. I still have to finish crocheting the blankie and the rest of the baby's name project (just the middle name remains thankfully). The holidays are coming and I am running out of time.

Well that's it from here. Life is crazy- many apologies for not updating more.

On the fat train

I had an OB appointment yesterday. Aside from making me wait an additional half hour the appointment was rather uneventful. Just the usual, weight, blood pressue, pee in a cup stuff.

My AFP test came back normal. And the best news yet my early GTT came back normal too. w00t! I will have to do it again at 28 weeks or something like that but at least this one was in normal range so I am not so worried about the next one.

I gained 6lbs in the last 4 weeks. I have NO idea how that happened. I really watch what I eat but I am hungry all the time now. I don't eat chips or sweets-usually just fruit, yogurt or crackers so I am at a loss. I mean I am not perfect by any strech but it seems so odd to gain that much when I know I've been watching. Anyway, I am determined to do better these next 4 weeks. Ray is back on the WW bandwagon since he's been putting on the sympathy weight. Poor thing.

The baby is doing well. Heartrate was great and Doc had no trouble finding it at all. Baby was quite jumpy after the appointment and I actually felt him/her kick me when I put my hand on my tummy. That was cool. Ray spent about 10 minutes waiting to feel the same thing but naturally baby wanted to be a PITA. Now I know he/she takes after me. LOL.

This weekend I am determined to fix the curtains in the nursery and put up the wallpaper border. We are going to Lancaster next Saturday to pick out furniture. I figured I better get on that now while I still feel like I can and especially if it has to be ordered, it may take a while.

We started the babies r us registry and target too just because I am anal and I figured I better get my sh*t together sooner rather than later. I get into doing something and then lose interest so if I do it a little at a time that's better than leaving it to the last minute during the holidays. I can't believe it's already September. Gosh this whole pregnancy is going by so fast.

Well, that's really it from me and Baby Parrish. We have our next u/s appt in two weeks to check out baby's heart again. Not worried just excited to see our little one again.

Bundle of...nerves?

So here I am waiting impatiently for the hour to pass until Ray comes to get me for our "BIG u/s"! Gosh it seems so ominous when written like that.

I am just trying not to let my blood pressure go up. I know the chances are that everything is perfectly fine with the baby and that really the only thing I have to think about is whether I'll be more excited if baby is a boy or a girl. But naturally I have to make myself fret so I can feel like I am doing something...

The appointment is at 2pm but they won't take me in until 2:30 effectively making me stress even harder for even longer. Ray keeps telling me that everything with baby is perfect and that there is nothing to worry about. He also knows that by saying that it doesn't help but he says it anyway.

I shouldn't even be remotely worried because if any of my tests had come back positive for anything I am sure the Doc would have called. Then again, maybe not. I went 3 weeks with Group B Strep before the Ob finally said "did you take the antibiotics that were prescribed to you?" and I said "what?" and she said "for the group b strep, didn't someone call you?" -"uh no" but that wasn't a big deal (going the extra few weeks since it wasn't an active infection but rather "colinization"). A positive NT scan or triple screen would probably warrant a phone call at least. I would hope. The NT scan results were fine and she waited to tell me those results at my last appt.

So really this is just a routine "baby looks good" exam and the "you are having a..." exam. The u/s everyone but me seems to look forward to. Naturally I am curious about why I still look the same way I did at 12weeks now at 18weeks (is the baby growing right or what). The only slightly reassuring thing is that from time to time I can feel the baby moving around in there.

Well, keep us in your thoughts today ladies. Pray it's all "perfect" just like Ray says.

And so here we are

Squarely at the start of Trimester #2. So far, so good.

Yesterday was my second Ob appointment with my Doc (have I mentioned my complete LOVE of her???? I would seriously marry her if a. I were gay and b. she weren't already married and c. if I didn't already love Ray to death-but I digress) . The appointment went quite well. Blood pressure was 123/72, no protien in the urine but there may still be left over GBS (yuck), baby's heart-rate (the sound of which I ABSOLUTELY ADORE) was about 157. According to their scale I've gained 10lbs, according to mine 5- I like mine better LOL.

I did have to do the early GTT yesterday which sucked btw but wasn't nearly as awful as I heard it would be. I am just praying the results are normal so I don't have to do the three hour. The results from the NT scan were "perfect" baby is looking great. She did not give me the numbers (probably so I wouldn't stress about them, although I am sure if I asked she would have). I had the blood draw done for the AFP and my next appointment with her is on Sept 10. The big news though is that baby is measuring about 4 days ahead (which is where he/she would have been had I ovulated on CD14 like a "normal" person) so I am 15w2d today instead of 14w5d-so my due date was changed to 2/2/09- Groundhog's day and my late grandfather's birthday (I never met him).

I get to schedule our big U/S for 4 or 5 weeks from now. I can't believe how fast this is all going. It will be Feb before I know it. I feel like I'll never be prepared but I know that isn't true. Things sure are getting exciting around here. I've finally been asked about my pregnancy and it seems that my moods are getting better although I am still extremely tired in the afternoons.

Life is slowly getting back to "normal"

Swish Swish Swish

That's what the baby's heartbeat sounded like yesterday at the Doctor's appointment.

Obviously, it all went well. Ray and I got the chance to see little Clumpy all movin' and groovin' inside of me. Heartrate was around 150 and you could see little limbs and everything. The baby almost looked human- more so than the previous u/s. The best part was hearing the little heartbeat. The doctor had a bit of time locating it because the baby kept moving around-she would find it and then baby would move and she couldn't find it. But Ray and I both got to hear it and that was the absolute best part!

I also had my annual exam and learned that I have Group Strep B and was put on antibiotics. Good thing too because I noticed today that I have the beginnings of a UTI. So they caught it really early. I have to do the GTT early (around 14 weeks) since I was diagnosed PCOS w/ insulin resistance. They just want to make sure they monitor me more heavily. I appreciate that. I hope I don't end up with gestational diabetes.

I am still feeling sick every once in a while-mostly just tired in the afternoons but it is getting a little better, I guess. The doctor asked me if I was still taking the progestrone suppositories and I told her I stopped at 9 weeks, she said "good because you definitely do not need them" I was like "w00t" in the office.

I have to tell you girls how much I love this doctor. She seems more like a friend than a doctor and I think it's great! I am so happy that she may be delivering our little baby! :)

Our next group of stuff is the Nuchal scan and AFP bloodwork which I have to call Sinai about. Then our next appointment with the Ob is in 4 weeks.

I am noticing my clothing getting tigher (in otherwords they fit now) but no one else can tell but me (good thing). I imagine in about 3 or 4 weeks it will be more obvious but I am not in any rush to let people know what's going on unless they ask directly.

Ok that's all from here. Figured I owed you folks and update!

Well Okay then

Who's been waiting for an update??

So, I wish I could say that interesting things are happening. Truth is, nothing is happening. I am 12DPO today. Tomorrow should be the last day of my typical LP (that's Luteal Phase, Mel) and I should have dear old AF on Friday.

I am 99.99% sure that AF will show on Friday because I've been experiencing acne, chocolate cravings and terrible headaches. All 100% sure signs of impending AF. I am okay with it. I just want to move onto our medicated IUI cycles already. I want to stop playing this "did we time it right" game and I want to be sure that a doctor is monitoring what we are doing. As odd as that seems. At least I know I'll actually have a chance if a doctor is doing SOMETHING for us.

In the meantime we wait for my period to come. Ray's next SA is Monday the 28th and there is a good chance I'll have my CD3 blood work on the same day- so that worked out. I'll pick up my clomid prescription on the same day as the bloodwork and then wait for CD5 to start taking it. CD10 through mature follies (whatever day that happens to be) we'll be in for AM ultrasounds and then probably an hCG trigger followed by IUI (if we choose it). Should be Fun?

That's all from here. I'll post again on Friday to let you know how bad AF is being to me. Hopefully she'll be nice :).