They Joy of the (mostly) Anonymous Internets

Since I would really love to shout it out from the roof tops that I am, in fact, pregnant and that it happened without medical intervention but cannot, I will have to bask in the glory of this pregnancy with my mostly anonymous internet friends. At least for the next 8 or so weeks.

I had a beta done Friday and repeat today, both with the RE. They agreed to monitor me until we see a heartbeat. Once that happens I'll have them transfer my records to my Ob's office and I'll call to schedule an appointment with her.

Now, I cannot tell you the numbers for either of the test since I didn't ask and I don't care. According to both tests things are looking (and I quote) "great"- we are scheduled for an ultrasound on July 11 (right after we get back from vacation). I am surprisingly more relaxed about this pregnancy than I was for my pregnancy with Clara. I just remember being completed freaked out before the first u/s with her. I think I am trying to be more zen about the whole thing. Probably a better approach all around.

On top of all of that wonderful, wonderful news I also got a third interview with this company I've been interviewing with. I decided to go for it after a long (and helpful talk) with a dear friend of mine who finally had to convince me that hard-work does not necessarily equal stress and that I am sort of wasting away at my current position (all true things to be sure). Friday I meet with the marketers. This should be- well- interesting. I just hope I can charm them as well as I have charmed and made in-roads with all our marketers here. I honestly hope I get the job though I do worry how well I will be accomodated regarding this pregnancy. I guess we'll cross that bridge if we have to.

You know the month started out rather poorly (being robbed and all) but if someone asked me whether June ended up being a good month or a bad one. I'd have to say June turned out to be my favorite month this year!

Curiousity...

Well I had to pee anyway. Good thing that test was just sitting around.

Looks like we're having another baby. Due March 3 according to all accounts. Now I just need to figure out which doc wants to run this beta blood test- the RE (who we have yet to see) or my Ob/Gyn. Lots of calls to make tomorrow morning.

Well, well, well...

I just wanted to quickly update all of you regarding the job situation.

I did in fact have a face to face with some of the folks for the company I applied with. I was required to meet with three folks from the department (the hiring manager, her manager and then a peer of the hiring manager). They are a very decentralized office so I expected that there would a bunch of folks to meet. I have to say for the job they want the new compliance person to do they aren't offering nearly enough money to do it. They basically want a person to come in do the marketing compliance from the ground up, IMHO they have almost nothing in place. It seems that they have never have a real, true marketing compliance person in the position before anywhere in the company (and we are talking an international company with a BIG presence and big market share in what the do) so this really shocked me. I would basically be putting together the process and procedures for the department and putting together definitions for the marketers to use in order to comply with the regulations that govern their business. It's a really big job for the money they are offering and, honestly, I am not that interested in building a marketing compliance department for them. In a situation like that they are better off hiring someone within their company who has more understanding of the business and market strategies than I do. I am supposed to know on Friday whether I got yet another interview round. That's the other thing, I realize that they want to heavily vet whatever candidate they choose but I don't have all the time in the world for these interviews, I still have a job that I like and need to be good at because there is a relatively good chance I'll be staying there despite its many flaws.

On to something else. I am 11DPO (12 if you are reading this on Thursday) and true to my word I refuse to test until Sunday (which would be CD1 if I have a 14 day LP, which I don't it's usually around 13 days). So far my temps have been pretty good, funny actually the charting software I use (not Fertility Friend) gave me a triphasic message today. I told Ray and he was like "is that a good sign" and I said "I don't take it to mean anything but the software says it could mean I am pregnant" he said "oh, really?" yeah really but I don't think so many women get triphasic patterns when they aren't pregnant too. We'll have to see what my temp is tomorrow. They usually start to downward slope on 12DPO and I usually start spotting on 11 or 12DPO also and I suspect that the B6 has at least kept me from spotting at 11DPO (yippy). I told Ray he shouldn't get too excited there is a good chance he'll have to repeat his SA and I'll have to do the CD3 bloodwork (which if I am not pregnant would fall on our appointment day, fingers crossed). Anyway, if by some chance I am pregnant I'll be sure to update on Sunday. I suppose I would call the RE's office and let them know and see if they still wanted me to come in anyway. We'll cross that bridge if we come to it.

That's it really. Nothing more exciting going on at this point.

The closer we are the further we are

I just wanted to give a little update on the few items from last week.

The interview went exceedingly well. I was told they want to see me face to face next Tuesday at 2pm. I was told by the recruiter that someone would get in touch with me this week about it but I have yet to hear anything and so that is worrying me. But to be relatively honest I am fairly happy with my current position so not getting this job is not the end of the world. I could stay here for as long as they want me here. My only reason for applying for the position was that it was with a really great company but other than that the job is basically the same as what I am doing with maybe a little more specificity and challenge. The big draw would be, of course, the pay and benefits and the option to earn a S.eries 7. At this point it’s “wait and see” if they get in touch with me before the end of the week. I imagine if they don’t I’ll have to email the recruiter. I did manage to get my thank you letter sent out yesterday so with any luck that will be enough of a reminder to get in touch.

Regarding the robbery; Ray spoke with the detective on Monday morning. The Balto Co Police think they found my iBook. Apparently they arrested some girl in the area with items linked to another robbery that took place about 4 streets down from us. With those items they found an Apple iBook which matched the description of my iBook. Ray had just located the paperwork/serial information for my iBook so they are looking into it. Additionally, he gave the detective information regarding his xbox (since he had an xbox live account the folks at Microsoft were able to track it). We still need to fill out paperwork but we managed to purchase a new TV last Wednesday (not sure if I mentioned that in the last post).

Clara, sigh, Clara. I swear she's trying to drive me to drink. The past week she has refused to go to bed on time. Finally, last night I took to doing her night time routine a full hour before we normally do it in case she gave me a hard time at least she'd be closer to bed time then the last week. Well that was major fails-ville. She still didn't go to bed until 9:15 and then she wanted me to sit with her. I've had it. I went in there and told her that she was a big girl and she didn't need mommy to sit with her that Daddy and I were both in the living room and would be there if anything happened. When I left she screamed again so I went back in there and told her to give me her pacifier and her monkey and that I was turning off the light and she could sit in the dark (again mean, I know) but it worked (for a change) and she went to sleep. Gah. Then this morning after a mere 8 hours of sleep (so not enough for a toddler) she woke up and screamed for an hour for us to put in Nemo or George or Cars. NOT HAPPENING because, as I have mentioned previously 10 minutes is never enough, heck three hours is never enough-nothing is ever enough basically. So we cut it off completely. I had to fight her getting dressed and she started to go bonkers about that. After I let her fit it out for another 10 minutes (while I got dressed) I finally said "would you like to wear something else?" and she nodded and I said "mommy is happy to help you pick out something else but you must stop crying, can you do that?" she nodded yes. She did stop, she picked out her clothing. I got her dressed, hell I even did her hair and she was fine all the way in the car up to daycare (she nearly fell asleep so I imagine she'll be tired for nap time today). She was also good when I left school (unlike the two previous days when she was screaming bloody murder). We'll see how the sleeping goes tonight. I might have to change the routine a little to get her to go to bed on time. Parenting can be so tiresome.

And lastly about TTC; it looks like according to both my ovusoft chart and FF I ovulated 4 days ago. But my temps are lower than I would expect them to be (around 98-98.2). However, I re-read some of my old blogs from when I got my BFP with Clara and apparently 98-98.3 or so was the range for post-o on that cycle so maybe I did O. It’s a good sign anyway, two ovulatory cycles in a row and O on the same day of the cycle. If I didn’t know any better I’d say the PCOS is under control. HOWEVER, despite the optimism in this paragraph I have made an appointment for us to see the RE on June 27. I would rather go in and say “I just got a BFP, check my shit out” then wait until the end of this cycle with a BFN and not be able to do any testing until the beginning of the next cycle (which wouldn’t be entirely true they could do the SA at least just not the HSG or cd3 b/w). It’s actually pretty perfect the timing of this appointment. I will be CD3 on the day we go in (you know providing I didn’t get pregnant), so we might be able to start right then and there with at least the CD3 b/w, HSG (if she wants to re-do-please no) and SA. Not sure if she’ll put me back on the met/clomid again before the HSG results (if I have to do the HSG at all). I personally would rather skip the met because of the horrendous side effects, I am finding the cinnamon to be a nicer, gentler alternative and I wonder if she’ll just let me continue that instead of jumping right into meds. Also, considering the fact that I am ovulating on my own (watch next cycle will be annovulatory again) I wonder how that will change how she treats us. I think a lot of this will depend on Ray’s SA, my CD3 b/w. I am predicting that this coming up cycle will be all the testing, no monitoring and that the cycle in July is when we’ll actually be doing treatments. More in a couple of weeks, for now we wait.

And TTC isn’t even the half of it

This month has already been both the best month and the worst month, and we’re only 9 days in.

I know this is a TTC blog but I wanted to share more the “best” and “worst” of this week.

First the good stuff. I have a job interview with my dream company. This is an interview I never thought I’d actually get. I had already resigned myself to working where I work for at least another few years, so we can save some money and I could eventually go back to school to become a(n) SLP. That might still happen but in the meanwhile I need to save the money and I need to be good at my job so that maybe I’ll get promoted or a better than 3% increase (our average increase around here- so sad). I’ve been working for the better part of a year on earning insurance designations (anyone in the business knows that there is an insurance education program through L.OMA that requires you to pass courses in order to earn them). I have earned three in the last 14 months and I am on track to complete the highest level designation (known as F.LMI) by the end of Fall to further that end.

All that aside, last week when I had that incident with my co-workers (something I didn’t get into then and don’t plan to now) I had sent a former co-worker an email asking for some advice regarding the situation. At the end of her reply email she told me that the company (the one I am interviewing for) was looking for a Marketing Compliance Analyst (basically my job title only we call the marketing “advertising” here). I really had no intention of applying but I looked at the job description anyway and it looked interesting. (For the record, I know I am being vague but that’s because I don’t want to mention the current company I work for or the company with whom I will be interviewing just in case anyone decides to do a little re-con on my on-line comings and goings.) I took a minute, filled out the information, uploaded a resume and basically said “yeah I’ll never hear from them again”- the company is actually known for its extremely stringent hiring practices and the glacial pace at which it conducts interviews and follow-ups. So imagine my utter shock that less than 24 hours after I submitted my information I received an email from their HR department asking me what my availability for a phone interview would be next week. The interview will take place at 5pm next Monday. I’ve been prepping for it the entire week because it’s been 6 years since I did any kind of interviewing at all whatsoever. I am very rusty. One last thing- if we are f.acebook friends I would very much appreciate you not saying anything on my page. Both my boss and unit director are my facebook "friends" and considering that this job is hardly a done deal I’d like to keep them from really knowing about it. Also you can feel free to send me a little personal message on f.acebook if you are just dying to know which company it is that I’ll be interviewing with. So, yeah that was the really good and awesome thing that happened to me this week (that was Tuesday).

On the same exact day that all that awesome shit happened, the absolute most horrendous thing happened too. Our house was broken into and most of stuff was stolen. In short the thieves took our 46” flat screen 1080p HD TV, three laptops (including an Apple iBook), my iTouch, Ray’s PSP and his Xbox360. We came home to our door wide open and our Siamese cat looking out the door like “wtf just happened.” Not sure what part of the day it took place but I am glad both our cats had the good sense to hide and stay inside. We, of course, called the police and they determined that they got in through the back window (we don’t usually leave those windows open [they have screens] because they are on the porch and do pose a security risk), took the stuff and then left. I think there were two of them and I think they were young. They didn’t take my jewelry, our brand new dyson dc23, my iiadro collection or my Waterford crystal vases (you know the expensive shit was basically left). I mean I have gold bracelets and necklaces up in my jewelry box that because of the price of gold are worth 3 and 4 times more than all the stuff they took put together. Some of the iiadro pieces I have are worth more now than when I bought them. I mean they took three 8 year old (or older) laptops, a four year old tv, a two year old iTouch, a four year old Xbox and a three year old PSP- all of which has devalued significantly from their initial purchases. Even the dyson which is brand spanking new (the box was still in the living room for heaven’s sake) was worth more than all three of those laptops combined. But you know it’s not the money value of the things lost, it’s knowing that my neighborhood isn’t necessarily safe anymore, that at some point something could happen to us again or one of our neighbors. We bought a new TV yesterday because I just couldn’t stand to look at the empty space any more and have it be a reminder of what happened. At the same time I am not constantly worried that we’ll be victimized again because of it. Over time I know this feeling will fade a little and we’ll eventually replace all the stolen items but I am not sure I’ll ever feel the same way about my home again.

AND on that note we’ll move on to the guts of this blog which is, of course, TTC(A). Today is CD15 and I expect O to happen within the next day or two (if the pattern holds). I can tell you the CF is fairing nicely and based on that I can tell I am close. So we’ve been trying to take advantage despite the break-in. I think it would turn out to be an overall pretty awesome month if we ended up pregnant. But again I am not counting on it. I can say for sure that if O doesn’t happen by the end of the weekend Monday morning I am on the phone to RE’s office. That was already determined. If I do O I might still call because with the spotting low progesterone I would rather we get monitored and put on progesterone again than risk losing the pregnancy because of it. Only time will tell.

Clara is doing okay, the break-in didn’t phase her (why would it really?) She’s been getting better about her fits (thankfully) but I know because of the recent heat she hasn’t been able to play outside while at school and I think it affects her sleeping. She’s still taking 2 to 3 hour naps in the afternoon but her nighttime habits are getting worse. We pushed back her bedtime to 9pm but now it’s getting later and later. Last night it was closer to 9:15 when we finally got her down and she woke up at 5:45, that’s not enough sleep for a 2.5 year old. Tonight I am going to try doing all her stuff at 8:30, instead of 8:45 so this way she can “snuggle” with me for the last 15 minutes before bed (she like to do that and because it’s only a few minutes it doesn’t hurt anyone, she still walks herself to her bedroom and goes to sleep on her own so, I am not worried that I am creating a bad habit for her). Hopefully we can get her to go to bed around 8:30 at some point without her getting up at 5am too. That’s going to be the real challenge.

Well hopefully the next time I write we’ll be in the TTW again. Hope everyone has a wonderful week.

P.S for Trish- an acronym primer:

TTC= Trying to Conceive
PCOS= Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome
LP= Luteal Phase
EWCM= Egg-white Cervical Mucous (most fertile cervical mucous)
CM/CF= Cervical Mucous/Cervical Fluid
BBT= Basal Body Temperature
IF= Infertility
PIO= Progesterone in Oil
AF= Aunt Flo (aka your period)
CD#= Cycle Day
#DPO= Days past ovulation
MFI= Male Factor Infertility
SA= Semen Analysis
RE= Reproductive Endocrinologist (the doc that specializes in infertility)
IR= Insulin Resistant (usually in combination with PCOS)
BCP= Birth Control Pills
O=Ovulation

And just because I mentioned them in the last two posts
L.OMA= Life Office Management Association (an organization designed to help Life Insurance professionals gain knowledge regarding the industry by enrolling them in courses that allow them to obtain designations)
F.LMI= Fellow, Life Management Institute (highest designation awarded by L.OMA)

I know there are a few others in this post but I won’t be using them again-except maybe WTF and TMI but I am sure you know those.

What can I say, really?

It's been an interesting week. And not good interesting. Most of it has nothing at all to do with TTC/IF/Family crap. It's all work related BS. And that's what it is BULL SHIT. I don't even want to get into it really but rest assured that those girls who were the bitches in high school are still those same, nasty, catty, immature bitches in the workplace. Some people never change. You wish they would get their much deserved comeuppance but it never fucking happens. Life is so unfair that way.

Moving on. I started taking B6 and drinking Green tea along with the cinnamon tea and prenatals plus extra folic acid I was taking already. The purpose of the B6 is, supposedly, to lengthen the LP. I've done B6 before with no results so I am not expecting a change here either. I would like to reduce the spotting to only one day before AF shows, that would give me some hope that I am producing my own progesterone. But given the PCOS, low progesterone is par for the course here. I think the only way to help that is either PIO, suppository or a prescribed cream.

The green tea is supposed to help with CF and goodness I've already seen a big improvement there. AF took a hike around CD5 (yippy), and yesterday I was pretty dry but today I had EWCM with pink tinge. So strange at CD7 to have any kind of real CF. Color me excited. I think I am just gearing up again because, again, I can feel my ovaries going on overdrive. I know I ovulated from the right side last cycle and it looks like that's where it will come from again (hopefully), even though I am feeling more left sided pain this time around than last time.

I am also hoping we'll be able to make more time to have sex. Last time our timing could have been better if we had done what we needed to the day before, day of, and day after. Not sure it would have helped considering the mild MFI issues we have going on but at the same time it probably wouldn't have hurt either. Perhaps this is all a little TMI but I need to write it out.

Everything, save the weight loss, seems to be going pretty well. I am trying to remain unstressed by the work related bullshit and just put my mind into TTC and getting my FLMI for work (three more tests to go!!!!!!!!)

That's really it until something happens- which with any luck should be in a week and a half or so. Until next week. :)