Monday, February 11, 2008

Just as I expected

My temps took a nose dive today. So, looks like me being hopeful was just that. Being hopeful. Anyway, that basically means I didn't ovulate. It's back to the BD drawing board again. I was getting too excited so my body had to remind me how cruel it is.

I am miserable again today. This morning's temp was just a small frustration on top of an already crappy morning which started with my weight being up. AHHH

I am not sure why I thought eating pizza three days in a row would some how not affect me. Either way I have a lot of ground to make up today, starting with WATER and more fruits and veggies.

I just wish something would go right. It seems just when I think all is going well I start to stall or get frustrated and want to give up. I feel that way right now. I am not sure how much disappointment I can really take.

I am spending a lot of time focusing on my mantras- I can do it, I deserve it, take it one week at a time, it's about determination- not motivation. They aren't ringing inside me like they usually do. I feel like I can't do it, I feel like I don't deserve it, one week is a week too long to continue and I have no determination-say nothing for the fact that I have no motivation.

Where do I go from here?

I want to be positive. I want to think that everything will work out for me (for us) but I am wondering why hope has to be so mean.

2 comments:

Ann M. said...

I know that this is not the news you wanted today. But you have to realize that this is just a setback and that is all it is. You ARE doing it. You ARE worth this effort. You had a down week, and that (unfortunately) is going to happen sometimes. The fact is, you seem to know why you had a tough week weight-wise, and already seem to have a plan in place to make up for it.

And the doctor appointment is next week, right? Maybe you'll be able to form a new plan of attack with the doctor then.

Keep your beautiful chin up, girl. I know you can do this.

Sarah R said...

We all have our awful weeks where we wonder, what's the use? But you are doing the right thing; don't allow it to hold you back from achieving what YOU KNOW you want and deserve to have. Keep trying, we all know you can do it!