Thursday, August 11, 2011

Oh yeah, really?

You know, I wanted to start out this post by telling everyone good news (and I’ll get to that) but I read something today that turned my stomach and immediately made me go WTF.

A post by a blogger that I read regularly (who I also know reads my blog) posted today the list of ingredients in breast milk followed by the ingredients listed in formula. I suppose to make a point (maybe you want to clarify it here) that breast milk is far superior to formula. And that by extension women who choose formula for their babies for one reason or another (or heck for no reason other than they don’t want to breast feed) are some how doing their children a disservice.

Well, if there is one thing I can’t stand it’s a sanctimommy*. That is a mother who feels that their way is the best way and that everyone else is so clearly doing it wrong. Newsflash: no they aren’t. Formula is actually a good source of food for a baby, otherwise they wouldn’t sell it and people wouldn’t buy it. Not to mention some people cannot physically or emotionally handle breast feeding or they cannot or choose not to pump. Not everyone can be a SAHM with time to breast feed. Some of us work outside the home and pumping takes time from work and to be honest, it isn’t a whole heck of a lot of fun. I don’t think that every mother is capable of breast feeding and I don’t think that women should be made to feel guilty if they choose formula for whatever reason they do. I am SICK to death of the breast is best rhetoric. To be honest with you I hated HATED breastfeeding once I returned to work. Spending 1.5 to 2 hours a day with a suction cup to my breast doesn’t make a person feel close to their child, despite what most breast feeding advocates tell you. No, a pump is not a bonding experience.

Besides the whole breast pump issue I think a woman has the right to choose what she feels is best for her and her baby. I am not going to force myself to breast feed if it’s taking an emotional toll on me and thus affecting my relationship with my child or my husband. Again some women are simply incapable emotionally of breast feeding and that does not make them a bad mother and it certainly does not make you a better one. Please understand that your sanctimonious post, dear blogger friend, insults millions of women and it insulted me tremendously.

Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest I do want to update you guys on a few things.

My next Ob appointment is Wednesday next week. I will be a day shy of 12w for it. I am fairly certain the doc will whip out the doppler so we can hear the heartbeat. I am both terrified and excited about it. I think once you’ve dealt with any IF issues you are always concerned that something could go wrong. But I am trying to remain positive. Other than that I have no real baby-to-be news to report.

The really fantastic news we received this week is that Ray has a new job. A really nice new job that will basically make our income go up 33K a year which is, frankly, insane. The job does have a bit of a downside in that we’ll have to move Clara to a daycare closer to Ray’s new work. The upside is that the daycare center is the same franchise as the one we currently attend, so in all likelihood it would have a very similar pre-school and kindergarten readiness program. A bigger bonus is that the school system in the county is among the best in MD and so long as she has after school care I can actually allow her to attend school there. I am thinking, if all goes well, we might move to that neighborhood at some point in the future.

We have been very lucky this month- the summer has been the most interesting we’ve had in years.

I’ll update again after our appointment next week. Positive thoughts for a strong, healthy heartbeat.

*and just to give credit where credit is due this is not my word. This word was coined by a friend on mom's forum that I belong to elsewhere on the internets. I wanted to make it clear that I am not, in fact, that witty.


Ann M. said...

You know where I stand on the formula/breastfeeding issue, and like you, I'd never get on a high horse about it. I do what's best for my family and encourage others to do the same.

Aside from that, whooohoo for Ray's new job. That is amazing and I'm so happy for you both! I'd do a happy dance but it would look really special, what with the gimp ankle and all ;)

Trish J said...


I hate it when this issue come up. No one wins and everyone gets her feelings hurt.

Women are so good at tearing each other down. It's a terrible waste of energy. We should build each other up and support everyone's efforts to be good, present, involved moms. There are so many ways to do it right.

P.S. - Good luck with the appointment. Fingers crossed you have no drama. And whoo-to-the-whooo! on Ray's new job. That is amazing.

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C-Rah said...

Just catching up on everyone's blogs, though I'm a little late on the updates, I see...hope all is going well!