Wednesday, June 11, 2008


So I should be feeling better but I'm not...

According to the doctor today I am 5w2d-which by my calculation is pretty accurate. I got intimate with the dildo cam again. There was a gestational sac and a yoke sac but no fetal pole. Doctor did not seem concerned considering how early it is. Needless to say I would have felt better if there was something more there. Doctor seems to think it's still a bit too small to see (around 1mm or 2mm) and that it was hiding at the top of the yoke sac close to the gestational sac making it harder to see.

Of course as a precaution before they offically diagnose this as a blighted ovum or some other such thing I have to go back in next Wednesday for a 6w2d u/s with the high hopes that there is a fetal pole and perhaps even a heartbeat (oh Lord please let there be SOMETHING). They took more blood from me to test my current hCG levels. I wasn't told to call in so I am not sure I should. I assume if the news was that the levels aren't rising or if they are going down that I would get a phone call ASAP. Hard to know what to do here.

Ray told me his gut feeling is that everything is fine and that my needless worrying will not help matters in the least. I told him I knew that my worrying was illogical and ridiculous but that admiting that to myself did not make the fear go away. He said it's a long 7 days and we have to try and enjoy knowing that so far the doctor seems pleased with Clumpy's progress...

So for now I will try and enjoy being pregnant for as long as that will last (which hopefully will be another 9 months) and of course I will continue to hope and pray that this pregnancy is just fine and everything is moving along in the right direction.

And if it isn't-we'll take some time off-start again from the beginning and keep faith.


Ann M. said...

I think it might be a little early too. Maybe Clumpy is dildo-cam shy.

If you're worried about the betas and would feel better if you knew, I say call. It wasn't made clear to you what you should do, and besides, even if they think you're the biggest pain in the ass, what does it matter if it'll ease your mind to know?

I know it is hard, but try to think positively until there is an absolute, concrete reason not to. And so far, everything appears to be going as it should.

Trish J said...

I don't know about hCG levels and I don't even know what a fetal pole is, but I can tell you at my first appointment at 7 w 4 d the doc couldn't find a heartbeat. Just wasn't showing up. But everything turned out just fine, and it will for you, too. Relax and feel my healthy baby vibes - I'm sending them your way.

And I agree with Ann - call. These people make no apologies when they probe you in all of your various orifices, don't feel bad for asking them for some info!

Desirée said...

You should call, I know I would. Who cares if they think you are being a pain, it's your blood, your body, your baby, you have a right to know your test results. Hang in there. I know its so hard to just sit and wait but that's the only choice you have right now. Just keep being good to yourself.

LCP said...

Aren't those dildo cams just fabulous, ha!! I think it is too early still...prayers for you through to next week!!