Daycare and Gas

I am feeling all bound up. Like my darling Clara.

That's what's been the issue by the way with why she's not been sleeping well. She's totally a gas bag. It seems that I have overproduction problems, mainly because Clara is a comfort sucker and so I am overproducing milk and thus having a more forceful let down when she first chomps on. Poor thing. So we're fixing that by me pumping off the first 5 minutes and then letting her latch on, this way the first let down is gone and the rest go a bit easier. Not sure how it's working yet. Ray feeds her the pumped portion. We were originally going to go with bottles to feed her the extra (since the pediatrician gave us the go-ahead to start her on that so she would take a bottle once she's being watch by someone other than me) after she gets off me but the nipple flow is still way too fast for her causing dribbling and gas (which we are trying to avoid). So we are back to finger feeding to avoid the gas issues until the nipple flow isn't an issue any more. I'll try again with the bottle tomorrow night.

The reason I am all bound up? The daycare situation. So, silly me didn't think about doing all that much research on the whole daycare bit since, at the time, I only needed daycare one day a week. I figured- how hard can it be to find a daycare for her one day a week? Well apparently very hard. The situation was supposed to be me two days a week, Jen (my SIL) one day and my MIL one day. But my MIL can no longer do a day so I am left with two days that Clara needs daycare. Still not really an issue-it will cost a little more but no problem we are okay with that. The issue is now finding a place to put her two days a week. The three day care places I contacted all have waiting lists or don't take infants part time :(.

I checked craigslist for part time nannies since that's really the only option. The question then becomes "how reliable are these people" and "how do I pay them so that all the right taxes and things get taken out?"- most of the nannies advertising are child ed students at the local university- 22 year olds. How much infant experience can they have? But, in truth, my SIL probably has just about as much experience, if not less, than these folks do- but since she is my SIL I am way less worried about it. For two days a week, as long as the person has decent references and doesn't want 100 bucks a day I might consider it. Of course Ray thinks this is crazy-he rather, I guess, have her in a facility with 15 other infants where she won't be nearly as well monitored. I dunno. There are pros and cons for each. I just wish there were more mommies around here that worked part time so that we could trade off days...it just ugh.

So now I have about 4 weeks to square a few things- health insurance, daycare, my work schedule and Clara's baptism. So much stress....

So tired

They never tell you how difficult parenting really is. I mean people talk about sleepless nights and fussiness and all kinds of things but you never think "that will be me"- or maybe you do but you don't care.

Well last night was a dozie. We gave Clara a bath around 8:30 and I fed her around 9. She finished up around 9:30 and promptly fell asleep. At that point I told Ray we should probably head to bed but we were both watching an episode of Boston Legal and wanted to finish it. At 10:30 we headed to bed. The moment I put her in the bassinet she woke up. Full on awake. And remained that way until 4am. Ray took her downstairs to be rocked in the glider from 2am until 4am. At 4am I fed her again and she finally went to sleep until 7am. She's been napping on and off all morning.

I am at a loss for what to do. Do I try and keep her up today in the hopes that she'll sleep tonight? Do I let her sleep today and sleep when she's sleeping and then just stay up with her tonight? If I didn't have a weight watchers meeting tonight I could do that. Jen is coming over this afternoon and would be able to "watch" while slept. But I would feel bad just leaving Jen to watch tv with no interaction from me. We'll see what happens when she gets here.

And lately, I don't know if it's stress and lack of sleep or what but my tummy has been hurting more now than ever. I have no idea what I am going to do when I have to go back to work. Which is another stressor all together since my daycare situation has changed now :(

More stress between Ray's job, daycare, not sleeping...ugh.

Pictures

So---A Day in the Life of Clara Rose

Eat, sleep, poop---repeat

But she's wonderful. We had a few tough nights there but now we're all set. She feeds really well, usually, but there was some concern that I might not get milk in due to the fact that I have PCOS. So ladies, if you've been diagnosed and you plan to breastfeed- let the postpartum nurse (or lactation consultant) know. They may have you supplement with formula for a little bit (via finger feeding). My milk did come in so everything seems to be okay.

Clara had lost about 11% of her birth weight, even with feedings every two hours- also her bilirubin level was moderate to high when we left the hospital on Friday. They made us repeat the bilirubin level on Saturday and the pediatrician called to tell us that he thought the level was okay but that we'd repeat it after we saw him today. So tomorrow we are going back to the hospital to have the level repeated. The pediatrician seems to think she'll be in normal range. The rest of her check-up went uneventfully. She gained back 8oz so now she weighs 6lbs 8oz Ray keeps saying how tiny she is. But considering how short I am, how big did he think she was going to be? I had no place to put her. LOL

I am not usually one to repeat birth stories but since it was requested I will. Those who don't want to read can stop if they want...




So, Ray and I were asked to be at the hospital at 6pm for an 8pm induction. Why? Who knows, they didn't even know. So we ate dinner quite early (around 4:30). We got the hospital and signed in but the charge nurse who was on duty was going off duty at 7pm and she told us we'd have to wait for the next charge nurse to come on duty before I could be admitted. So Ray and I went down to the hospital cafeteria for a drink and to work on a crossword puzzle.

At 7:30 we went back to L&D and the charge nurse admitted me. We were put in a labor room and I changed into a gown. They stuck me so that I could have an IV (apparently for fluids, pitocin and antibiotics for the GBS). My doc came in around 9:30 to let me know that they were going to start me on cervidil (a cervical ripen agent) since I was still only at 1cm, 40% and -2 station. I was told to try and get some sleep after they put the cervidil in. Well I tried to sleep but by 4am I was absolutely STARVING. Crying in hunger pain. The nurse came in only to tell me I couldn't eat- I couldn't even have a glass of water. But thank god for Ray because he just kept going out there to tell them how miserable I was. Eventually the resident on call came in and said I could have some ice with cranberry juice in it (SUGAR=GOOD). When my doc (the attending) heard about my anguish she agreed to clear liquids (meaning I could have some broth, jello, tea etc). So I ordered my food and Ray and I ate around 9am. Which is also about the time my doctor took out the rest of the cervidil and determined I was 2.5cm and about 60% effaced but still at -2 station.

The baby had to be continuously monitored due to the PIH- so I was strapped in bed nearly the entire length of time (1.5 days). Which, let me tell you sucked. After they removed the cervidil and before they started the pitocin my new nurse let me shower and walk around the room for about 10 minutes before forcing me back into bed and starting pitocin and antibiotics. So things were relatively uninteresting for quite a while. Mainly because I made almost no progress. At 4:30pm my doc requested that they break my water and lower my pitocin, figuring that I would have regular contractions on my own. That didn't happen. Around 7pm my doctor came in and told me that she was off on-call and that one of the other docs from their practice would be in (one I saw, thankfully). A new nurse came on and it was decided that they would continue to up my pitocin after dialing it back and seeing very little progress.

The nurse continued to up my pitocin until my contractions were regular. At this point I was in a ton of pain. So Ray suggested that I decide whether I want an epidural. I still wasn't sure since I was only 4cm at that point. I opted instead for stadol. Which really really helped me relax through my contractions better, so much better that within 3 hours I had gone from 4cm to 7cm. Then I started to have serious pain. I asked for them to give me more stadol since I knew it only lasted 3 hours. But the nurse told me I'd have to wait an extra half and hour for them to give it to me. So we waited but they never called in the order for the medication. So at that point I figured since I had to wait another half hour I would take the epidural.

By the time they ran all the fluids into me to do the epidural and I was checked again prior to getting it. I was at 9cm but I knew I couldn't deal with the pain. Not to mention the pressure since Clara has clearly come down into the birth canal. It was the best decision I ever made- because then all I had to do was work my way though the pressure. That took about an hour and then Ray called the nurse because I was feeling the urge to push without contractions.

The resident came in and let me push for a few contractions. They broke down the bed and I pushed for about 20 minutes and then, she was here. In all her cuteness.

I saw my doc the following day and she said at one point they had concerns that I would need a c-section since I made so little progress at first. But, the nurse was so good about the pitocin and I let myself relax after the stadol that it became unnecessary. My doctor told me that she was proud of me.

I only ended up with two minor tears- that don't even hurt. Overall it was an okay experience. I do wish they had let me walk around more, I think if they had she would have moved down and put pressure on my cervix making upping the pitocin level less likely. But as it was no compliants and Clara is wonderful. Though I am not too sure i want to repeat this experience any time too soon...