Sunday, April 27, 2008

I think we all know how this ends

I started spotting...

cramps and spotting- AF will be here tomorrow.

Needless to say Ray had to get me to stop crying. And while i knew this was the way it was going to end I am still so hurt.

I guess we have to just suck it up and move on to the stupid IF treatments, that I REALLY REALLY didn't want to have to do. Blood tests and medication and all kinds of stuff that takes the enjoyment and fun out of TTC.

Ray is so supportive, he's convinced that we'll get pregnant this month once I start taking the clomid and they can tell me exactly when I'll ovulate. But even with all that I just don't think I'll ever get pregnant. I just don't think my body wants to. maybe I don't want to. I don't know.

I am going to do my best to pull it together tonight so I can go to work and be okay tomorrow. We have so much stuff to do right now that I can't let this affect me the way it is.

Thanks for the support though and all the good luck and wishes. I'll be back once we get this cycle started on clomid and I have something to blog about.


Cathy said...

I'm sorry it didn't work out this month.

But honestly? I think the "fun" and "excitement" of ttc fly out the window the moment the thermometer, pee sticks, and crying at the onset of spotting come into the picture.

And that treatments, while not FUN are a lot more ... relaxed than where you've been at for awhile now. In some ways I'm GLAD that there's no point in me ever ttc with sex again - yeah, drugs and frequent vaginal ultrasounds and blood draws are a pain (literally!), but it's not nearly as everyday stressful. And I will never put a thermometer in my mouth again unless I think I'm running a fever.

Melissa said...

Hope you are doing well today Chris- I'll see you tonight.

Alicia said...

I'm sorry it didn't work this month. I hope that you are doing better today. I'm thinking about you and praying for you guys!

Ann M. said...

I could never get Greg to understand how getting my period every month made me feel like such a failure. There's a lot of hormones and prayers and dreams involved, so it is bound to get emotional and complicated.

I know that the treatments and everything are not the way you envisioned or hoped for things to go. And as unromantic as it all sounds, it is still a step forward in getting your body to ovulate, being able to know when that's happening, and making sure you are maximizing your chances.

Keep your beautiful head high and just take this all as it comes.

C-Rah said...

Ugh, you poor thing. Getting your period is bad enough as it is with all the hormones and icky feelings, but then when you're anticipating something like that. . . girl, I'm so sorry. Hang in there, it will happen! And what a wonderful hubby you have. Ray deserves a pat on the back for being so supportive.

True Love (AKA Desirée) said...

You listen to your husband! Mine is what kept me going for 3 yrs of IF when I was ready to give up. Take care hun.